A couple of years ago, I received a paperweight for Christmas with the above statement stamped on the top. Over the years, I have glanced at it, never really giving any real attention, as I have always believed that if any aspect of my life was to be, it would have to be up to me.
Over the course of this past year, I have come to more fully appreciate the wisdom stamped onto that familiar paperweight.
As I have stated in past posts, I relocated back to New York City on January 20, 2008. It has been an amazing year, and I would like to share a bit of my life experience over the course of 2008.
I started the year by saying farewell to friends in San Francisco.
Once in New York City, I moved into an apartment building in Harlem, thinking that it might be interesting to live primarily among Black folks for once in my life. The complex was named after a legendary ballroom, The Savoy, a wonderful and historic venue that was a landmark during the Harlem Renaissance in the 1930's. The original buildings were demolished in the early 1960's, replaced by highrize apartment buildings for middle income residents. Those buildings were purchased several years ago, and have gone through a renovation, listed as "luxury".
The current owners grossly misrepresented the condition of the property and the neighborhood in their documentation, and it was clear from my first week that I had made a major mistake in taking up residence there. My experience was a stark realization: the majority of lifelong residents displayed stereotypical behavior, much of which had disappeared from my life experience in the early 1970's. It seems that life on welfare, teenage pregnancy, guns, drugs and all that goes along with it remains alive and well in certain areas of Harlem, New York. To be fair, some areas are truly beautiful, but not in the part of Harlem that I was experiencing. Most people that currently speak about the "new" Harlem are talking about "west" Harlem (from Broadway to the Hudson River) and areas along 125 street where the Clinton Building is located. The majority of Harlem is still in need of gentrification and a true cultural and financial wakeup call.
Many of Harlem's residents continue to live at or below the poverty level, have and display great anger, and want to blame the world for their circumstances, rather than taking steps to lift themselves up to a higher existence. As it became clear that I was not a lifelong resident of Harlem, nor a member of the "hood", I was targeted as an outsider, someone who did not belong. After being verbally abused by thugs hanging out on street corners, and after a series of drive-by shootings that occurred in my neighborhood last Spring, I decided that enough was enough. I came to the conclusion that Black folks are the same as other groups of people: some good, some bad. This particular group was working my last nerve. So, 6 months after my arrival, I vacated Harlem, and moved to Newport, New Jersey. http://www.newportnj.com/
Newport is only a few miles away from Harlem, but the differences between the two locations could not be more distinct. It is a new, wealthy community incorporated in 1986 and built on the shoreline at Jersey City. It overlooks the former World Trade Center and 9/11's Ground Zero, that is now going through a tough, but stellar, rebuilding process. Newport is a physically lush, beautiful place, with an international mixture of residents, and everyone is very respectful of one another. It has an extremely high level of security and outstanding management. My building is located right at water’s edge, with a spectacular view of New York City, the Hudson Bay, southwestern New Jersey and beyond.
After moving into a penthouse level suite, I hired a painter, and now feel safe and secure in a place that nurtures me every day. Having donated my former furniture to charities in San Francisco before I left, I’ve had the opportunity to design a room more beautiful than I could have imagined, which reflects the journey that my life has taken over the last 10 years. My new home is comprised of pictures, objects of art and furnishings that were hand picked by myself, and each holds a memmory of past days of my life.
Additionally, shortly before my permanent arrival back to NYC, I was offered a position with a Dallas based law firm in their New York City office. I am proud to say that I am working with a large cast of characters that are not unlike those seen on the TV show Boston Legal. We have our very own Denny Crane, Allan Shore, and Shirley Schmidt, just to name a few. It is engaging to watch them every day and marvel at the way their personal attributes facilitate their creation of a successful – and profitable – practice here in NYC.
Over the past few months, I have had the opportunity to reacquaint myself with music and the industry that I’d left behind many years before, and am, once again, working on resuming my interest in the Cabaret circuit in New York City. Additionally, I have created a successful personal coaching business, and am building a client base which will allow for future expansion.
As you can probably summize, not everything about this relocation has been joyful. One of the most disappointing aspects of relocating back to the NYC area has been the realization that old friends and acquaintances still living here have become jaded, and have done little to welcome me back to the city. Rarely a telephone call or invitation to reconnect has been offered, even though I've made every effort to reconnect with them. I've now realized that time has moved on, and have had to make the difficult, yet necessary decision to release those old relationships of the past. I’m now building a new network of friends, and recently have become involved in a relationship that is going very well, with great promise for the future.
So, looking over my year, that old saying on the paperweight comes to mind – "what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" – and I have come to this very specific conclusion: I’ve finally grown into a man that is secure in the knowledge that hope, faith, love, wealth and abundance and happiness are all my god-given right. Even those things that appear to be dissapointments can usually be transmuted into wonderful experiences.
I've learned that the disappointments in life need not be a final end result. By pushing the envelope a little farther, amazing gifts are usually right under the surface. Barack Obama, and my life experience, are amazing proof of the divine in our lives.
Lastly, Bravo to America, and the new President-Elect. Last Tuesday, November 4, 2008, is a day that I did not expect to see in my lifetime, yet I continued to hold the possibility in my heart of a Black American President. Hold on to your dreams. They do, indeed, come true!
The mantra that facilitated my beginning this blog project several years ago continues to permeate my everyday life:
I AM THAT, I AM.
Kristian Alexis Perry
November 13, 2008
